I recently went on the Church Politics Podcast with Justin Giboney of the AND Campaign to talk about faith and sexuality, including the recent controversy around Pastor Alistair Begg and whether Christians should attend gay weddings.

A grandmother asked respected evangelical leader Alistair Begg whether she should attend her grandchild's marriage to a queer person. He encouraged the grandmother to privately share her disagreement but still attend the wedding and even bring a gift.

In response, #ChristianTwitter#EvangelicalTwitter #ReformedTwittercanceled him.

So, should Christians attend gay weddings?

Christians can treat sacred what God treats sacred, be consistent, and maintain relationship.

God seems to have defined pretty narrowly what Christian marriage (the kind of marriage God uniquely joins and sustains) is: a lifetime union between one Christian woman and one Christian man with an openness to raising children for the sake of the kingdom.

Many civil unions fall short of that standard, including same-sex unions. If I'm invited to attend or participate in a wedding in some way, I need to ensure I'm testifying truthfully to who God is and what He is (or is not) doing.

Historically, attendees of Christian weddings participated in the ceremony liturgy by publicly affirming that God was indeed joining the couple in Christian marriage and committing to help the marriage thrive.

So it matters whether Christians attend weddings that claim to be joining a couple in a Christian marriage.

But there's a big difference between two non-Christians of the same sex getting married in a field without invoking God versus two self-professed Christians of the same sex quoting Scripture and using Christian marriage liturgy in a church.

I personally feel more comfortable attending some non-Christian same-sex weddings on that one extreme (in a field without naming God), whereas I'm much more careful if invited to weddings of two Christians of the same sex.

Each time Christians get invited to a wedding that falls short of God's highest standards, we've got to humbly weigh how our presence might be misinterpreted versus how our absence might affect our relationship with the betrothed.

And how that might affect our potential to have a gospel impact on the couple in the future.

Plus, if I decide I can't attend, I try to explain my decision in a way that honors and cares for the couple. I go to great lengths to reassure the couple of my love for them, that I'm not judging them, and that I need to respect my own convictions.

But mostly importantly, we've got to be consistent. Many opposite sex weddings fall just as short of God's vision for Christian marriage. Regardless of what you're personally comfortable with along that spectrum, be consistent.

IF you're invited to the wedding of
- two non-Christians of the opposite sex,
- a Christian and a non-Christian of the opposite sex,
- two opposite-sex Christians who don't take the biblical purposes of Christian marriage seriously, or
- two opposite-sex Christians who don't take seriously what the Bible has to say about divorce/remarriage,
THEN I challenge you to respond the same ways you do to a same-sex couple whose union falls short of God's design for Christian marriage.

I'd also hesitate to attend those weddings.

Consistency is key. If you care about people taking all of God's wisdom for Christian marriage seriously, then apply that to all weddings.

Because when you don't—when you refuse to attend gay weddings but attend straight weddings that fall short of God's vision for Christian marriage yet claim to be joined by God—your motivations aren't concern for God's wisdom.

Listen to the full podcast episode at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lgbt-identity-and-the-church/id1289898626?i=1000643830992