Pieter L Valk

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Temptation is predictable

When I recently taught Ecuadorian high school students at a Christian school about God's wisdom for our sexualities, we concluded with advice for resisting sexual temptation.

We explored how the Enemy's schemes are actually pretty predictable, and as such, how we can reverse-engineer a good defense.

Have you noticed these common characteristics of sexual temptation?

1. The Enemy promises (lies) that pleasure/connection will be deeply satisfying and won't hurt anyone.

2. The Enemy tempts us when we are lonely.

3. The Enemy tempts us when we're burdened with painful feelings.

4. The Enemy gets us in a habit of sin, becoming seemingly automatic.

Thankfully, we can predictably prepare a good defense:

1. When you experience sexual temptation, pause, and try to identify the false promise of consequence-less connection. Then call it what it is: a lie.

2. Throughout your day and week, be proactive about getting healthy emotional, spiritual, physical, and intellectual connection so that you're not lonely when sexual temptation shows up.

3. Practice feeling through your feelings in healthy ways. Sin often helps us postpone or temporarily numb painful feelings, but they return the next day. The only way to get beyond painful feelings is to feel them.

Painful feelings aren't our enemies. They're asking us to care for ourselves. Fear is asking us to pay attention to something risky and wisely prepare. Anger is asking us to notice injustice and do something. Sadness is asking us to grieve a loss.

4. If you've found yourself in a seemingly-automatic habit of sexual sin, ask for professional help. Addictions are difficult to kick without an expert. And be prepared for the solution to involve practical and inconvenient efforts.

We are not powerless to resist sexual temptation. With insight, strength from the Holy Spirt, and support from friends and experts, we can expose the Enemy's schemes and effectively respond.

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