The short answer: whomever God gives me to love.

You see, NFOB isn’t a chosen family, it’s a given family. When I make lifetime commitments to NFOB later this month, I’m committing to *whomever* eventually makes lifetime commitments to our family. And that’s pretty scary.

I won’t get to choose who’ll be in our family. NFOB isn’t a popularity contest–any Christian man who’s genuinely discerned that he’s called to vocational singleness in the context of our family can do so. They will be my family for a lifetime.

This commitment stands in contrast to preference-based romance and dating. We often choose our lovers (and friends) based on who serves us best. But I won’t get to curate the family I’m joining.

The men I’ll call family in the coming decades probably won’t be the people I would have first chosen as friends. And THANK GOD–I choose poorly.

10 years from now, regardless of my preference, I’ll know and love that given family more than anyone else in the world. I think that’s worth committing to.