Links

Most Recent Link(s)

Register for “From Involuntary Singleness to Thriving” Equip Webinar with Pieter

What should Pieter post about? Quick 2-min Survey

My Top Resources from 2024

1. "Unpacking the Closet: How Inside Out 2 Resurfaced my Closet Trauma” in Christ & Pop Culture exploring the painful tragedy of the gay closet

2. "The New Ex-Gay" on pieterLvalk.com examining elements of the new ex-gay movement including reintegrative therapy, concupiscence debates, and trans whataboutism

3. “Coming Out as Celibate to my Gay Hairstylist” in Fathom Mag on fears around sharing my sexual ethics and empathizing with the fear many Christians feel toward revealing their convictions

4. “An Orthodox Challenge to Systemic Homophobia” in The Living Church unpacking how concepts from racial justice conversations might help Christians have a better conversation about Jesus justice for LGBT+ people

5. A video article / webinar at Equip answering the question “Should Christians attend gay weddings?”

6. “A Better Trans Debate” in Christianity Today exploring how Christians can engage in trans conversations with Christ’s wisdom and love

7. A brief explainer of my convictions on biblical gender ethics, including whether medical transition is a sin

8. A video article / webinar at Equip answering the question “Is giving up gay romance a sacrifice?”

9. Pieter (me) on the Church Politics Podcast w/ Justin Giboney discussing sexual ethics, the Church, and how Christians can better love gay people

10. “Is God’s wisdom good and beautiful for gay people?” at Asbury Theological Seminary Chapel examining why God’s wisdom often doesn’t lead to thriving in the lives of faithful LGBT+ Christians and what to differently

11. “When Heavyweights Change their Minds” in Firebrand Mag unpacking Dr. Richard B. Hays’s changing views on gay marriage and whether Christians who’ve leaned on his theology in the past should re-evaluate their convictions

Help Equip Change the Story about LGBT+ People & God's Love

Most Recent Link(s)

“A Better Trans Debate” in Christianity Today

Lectionary Devotionals for the Week of October 20-26 in The Living Church by Pieter

“Have you found self-invention to be a blessing or a burden?” on the preMature Podcast with Arthur Mensah

“Is God’s wisdom for gay people good and beautiful?” at Asbury Theological Seminary

Download FREE Parent Conversation Starter from Amber Carroll

“Was singleness harder after college dorm-life?” on the Flip Side Podcast with Noah Filipiak

Full article: Beware of the New Ex-Gay

“An Orthodox Challenge to Systemic Homophobia” in The Living Church

Register for “Reflecting Christ’s Love & Wisdom in the Trans Political Debate” on Oct 1 at 3 pm CT

I don’t have the secrets to lifetime celibacy

“Is it really better to marry than to burn with desire?” in Fathom Mag

VIDEO: Christ’s Invitation to Vocational Singleness

“Chasing After Earnest Confession” in Anglican Compass

“Unpacking the Closet: How Inside Out 2 Resurfaced My Childhood Trauma” in Christ and Pop Culture

Article Response: Yes, Rosaria, Christians do have LGBT+ neighbors…

Help churches offer LGBT+ people something more than JUST true

“Coming Out as Celibate (to my Gay Hairstylist)” in Fathom Mag

Help your Church Respond Compassionately to Gay Pride and Coming Out with Equip

“Christ’s Invitation to Vocational Singleness” Sermon at Calvary the Hill Church in Seattle, WA

“Where have I experienced freedom in my sexuality?” with Jenny Marcum on the Heart to Heart Podcast

Register for “Should Christians attend gay weddings” Equip Webinar on Tues Mar 28 at 4 pm CT

“Is God’s wisdom for gay people good and beautiful?” at Asbury Theological Seminary

Wait, gay sex isn’t a salvation issue?!

“(Some) gay media has helped me feel Christ’s love” on the Goodlion Podcast with Aaron Salvato

“When Heavyweights Change their Minds: Richard B. Hays and Human Sexuality” in Firebrand Magazine

Research article: Does trans suicide risk justify transition?

“Is the Bible self-evidence about sexual ethics? About anything?” on the Theology with Friends Podcast with Paxton Barkdull

“How does calling gay Christians to a higher standard than straight Christians hurt everyone?” on the Political Animals Podcast with Jonathan Cole


“Alistair Begg & whether Christians should attend gay weddings” on the Church Politics Podcast with Justin Giboney of the AND Campaign


“Why did God make us sexual creatures?” Read the transcript from Equip’s recent Webinar or get access to full video+notes as part of Equip’s Digital Leader’s Course!


“Why do many Christians find historic sexual ethics unconvincing?” and other questions on the Canadian Christian Leaders Podcast with Chris Price

My Top Resources from 2023

1. "Vocational Singleness is a Gospel Cornerstone" in Mere Orthodoxy exploring how celibacy brings the good news alive

2. "Called, not Conscripted, to Celibacy" in Missio Alliance comparing the effectiveness of voluntary versus conscripted military service and celibacy

3. Check out free Equip resources en Español

4. Equip's Parent Course is now available on-demand so parents (and caretakers of all kinds) and learn on their own schedule to lead kids ages 2-12 in age appropriate conversation about God's love and wisdom for everyone's gender and sexuality

5. A video article teaching you how to respond winsomely (and effectively) to most convincing arguments for a revisionist sexual ethic

6. Is gay romance/dating wise? What are celibate partnerships? Check out my personal musings on the topic and Equip's recommendations to Christian leaders

7. Survey 7 ways to compassionately disciple trans people and Christians navigating gender incongruence

8. A video article surveying Christ's invitation for every Christian to discern vocational singleness and how the vocation of Jesus preaches the gospel to a broken world

9. Gay sin isn't worse that straight sin. But that's not what I heard from friends and pastors growing up. Read my story and what Christians must do differently today.

10. A video article on what God made us for as sexual beings, what best paths God gives us to enjoy sexuality to the fullest, and how we can resist sexual temptation

11. A video article surveying why and how every Christian young adult should open-handedly discern between vocational singleness and Christian marriage

12. Does trans suicide risk justify hormonal/surgical transition? Read Equip's response.

13. How does God see trans people? How can they find relief from gender incongruence? Read Equip's advice for Christian leaders.

14. Should Christians respect the name and pronoun preferences for trans people? Read Equip's advice for Christian leaders.

15. Can Christians be against transition but support vasectomy/breast enhancement? Read Equip's advice for Christian leaders.

16. Can a Christian lust after their spouse? Check out an excerpt from a recent podcast.

17. How is sexual temptation predictable? And how can Christians use that predictability to our advantage as we resist temptation?

18. Is marriage the solution to untamed lust? If not, what is?

Past Links

Give double to help parents have conversations with their kids about God’s wisdom for gender and seuxality

Watch my lifetime commitments—it was beautiful & scary

Where are the dead, in Christ, right now? (From my euology for my grandmother, Gaga)

My Love Letter to NFOB

Help Equip train parents and pastors to offer God's love and wisdom for trans people.

Disagreement about Sexual Ethics is Rarely About Sexual Ethics (& more) on the Good Christian Co. Podcast

Christ’s Invitation for Every Christian to Consider Vocational Singleness

"Is it Better to Marry Than to Burn?” in Fathom Magazine

Equip Associate Director of Operations Job Posting

Can Christians lust after their spouse? And other questions with Pieter on the Goodlion Podcast

Christ’s Invitation for Every Christian to Consider Vocational Singleness

How can pastors and parents offer trans Christians compassionate support?

Is transition permissible for Christians navigating gender incongruence?

“Certainty & Consistency in Gender Ethics” from the Equip Blog

Does trans suicide risk justify hormonal/surgical transition?

Should Christians respect pronoun preferences of trans* people?

Introducing Equip’s new Gender Incongruence Course

“Called, not Conscripted (to Celibacy)” in Missio Alliance

What is the Nashville Family of Brothers?

Adventures in Theology Podcast: How did God call me to vocational singleness?

How to notice romance idolatry on Valentine’s Day (and what to do tomorrow)

Register for “Responding to Revisionist Sexual Ethics” Webinar

Does God make people gay? on the Things You Don’t Hear In Church Podcast

Responding to Arguments for Revisionist Sexual Ethics

Christ's dating advice for college non-Christians

“Vocational Singleness is a Gospel Cornerstone” in Mere Orthodoxy

Top Resources from 2022

1. Why should every Christian young adult open-handedly discern, asking God whether He wants to give the gift of vocational singleness or Christian marriage? (+objections)

2. With rising rates of LGBTQ+ identification in younger generations, how can parents today and tomorrow better disciple their kids, knowing that many (if not a majority) might identify as queer?

3. An interview on RENEW.org examining common mis-teachings about vocational singleness and common mistakes churches make when trying to support vocational singles

4. What it means (and doesn't mean) when someone comes out

5. An article in Outreach Magazine exploring how reframing teaching about sexuality around the concept of "sexual stewardship" could help us center how God made all of us for intimacy in the context of family (instead of focusing on marriage and sex)

6. Read my testimony in Awaken about my struggle with doubting God's existence and my experience of distance from God.

7. An article in Christ & Pop Culture analyzing how the pandemic amplified an already-festering idolatry of romance in American churches and considering how Christians can faithfully respond

8. An article in Ekstasis Magazine reviewing how the first Christians lived out vocational singleness, how medieval art and theology mislead Christians today, and how we can retrieve early Church wisdom

9. Should Christians attend gay weddings?

10. Why is body shame so common among gay men, and how can we silence the lies of body shame?

11. Do historic sexual ethics increase a gay person's risk of suicide more than revisionist sexual ethics or pray-the-gay-away theology?

12. A piece in Fathom Magazine describing the painful anxiety of hiding in the proverbial closet and how parents can protect kids from the wounds of the closet

13. A piece in Outreach Magazine exploring how seriously Christians take Christian marriage in light of the passage of the Respect for Marriage Act

Help Equip reach more parents, pastors, and gay people with God’s wisdom

“No one is born into vocational singleness” on the Sacramentalist Podcast

Do Christians have “Respect for Marriage?” in Outreach Magazine

“Welcome to my closet” co-written with Brenna Blain for Fathom Magazine

What Christians get wrong about Christian singleness, and how churches can better support vocational singles (in RENEW.org)

Do historic sexual ethics cause suicide?

What is “coming out”?

The Ascetic Fetish in Ekstasis Magazine

Should Christians attend gay weddings?

Full faith & sexuality video at Strong Tower Bible Church

If I don’t condemn, am I condoning?

Should you treat your gay friends like someone of the opposite sex?

Naming & Caring for Gay Male Body Shame

Early Church Celibacy and How to Build Committed Christian Community for Vocational Singles

Read “A Pandemic of Romance Idolatry” in Christ and Pop Culture

Part 1 and Part 2 of my conversation on the Rick Lee James Podcast

Register for “Why the Idol of Romance Doesn’t Work for Anyone” hosted by LOVEboldly

”Coming out” during Pride Month: What does it mean? Why? And how can Christians respond with God's love and wisdom?

Learn to respond compassionately to Gay Pride and coming out

Op-Ed: Some gays unwelcome at Franklin Pride

“How long-term singleness can be a calling of beauty and dignity” on CRU.org

More on how to discern between vocational singleness and Christian marriage

Born gay or choose to be gay? Top 10 LGBT+ Questions

LGBT+ topics, mental health, and modern monasteries on the Oh No Not Another Live Show

Outreach Magazine: Reframing our Sermons on Sexuality

5 Way Churches can Support Singles

Read my Lenten reflection for Awaken about my faith crisis and the answers I found in ancient Christians about their own distance from God

God’s Good for Gay People article + video seminar

Join the Desert Stories journey with me and lookout for my story later in Lent

Watch/listen to Pieter on the Pop Culture Catechism Podcast about the romance idolatry of Schitt’s Creek

Read/watch “Faithful Christian Marriages Evangelize”

“Disciple the Queer Generation” Article published in The Center for Faith, Sexuality, and Gender

See “No” Votes on PCA Overture 23 on Pages 86-89

The Living Church: Reconstruction as an Anglican

University Theology Class Video: The Curse & Glory of the Eunuch

Video Article: 5 steps churches can take to support celibacy

10 free resources from 2021 on celibacy & sexuality

Convo w/ Christian Sexologist Re: Intimacy

Pieter on the Sola-darity Singleness Pod w/ Bridget Gee

Christmas Parent Conversation Starter

Take the Ethical Storytelling Pledge

Pieter on Purity Culture & Celibacy [Where do we go from here? Podcast]

On the "My Faithful Ally" Podcast about a better Church for gay kids

The best parent tool for talking to kids about sexuality

READ: From Involuntary Celibacy to Thriving

Former Gay Stripper vs Gay Christian Podcast

Pieter on The Kingdoms Podcast

Pieter on the All Things All People Podcast

Take EQUIP's Gay Teen Test

Review of Netflix's "Pray Away": Beware of False Dichotomy

Pieter on Making Relationships Safe (Unsuitable Podcast)

My painful ex-gay experiences + "Boy Erased" Review

Pastor Greg Podcast w/ Preston Sprinkle on the Ex-Gay Movement

Happy (Spiritual) Father's Day in Fathom Mag

Gay Christians in Brazil (the Conflictu Podcast)

"Better to Marry than Burn?" in Fathom Mag

A eulogy for my celibate bassoon teacher, Tom Crawford

"Why say gay?" in Juicy Ecumenism

Pieter on Preston Sprinkle's Theology of the Raw Podcast

Watch "St Valentine & the Idol of Romance" for FREE

Kent Lapp Podcast w/ Pieter Valk (discernment, singleness, & LGBT+ topics)

A toast to Laura + Gabe

CT Article - The Case for Vocational Singleness

Anglican Statement on Sexuality & Identity

Discernment with the Jubilee Freedom Shalom Podcast

Discussing Singleness & Community on Your Other Brothers Podcast

How to make Whiskey Discernment (starting at 27:11)

Recording of Theology on Tap: Vocational Singleness

Video: "Leveraging Christian Singleness" (30-Min Theology of Singleness)

My Commitments to the Nashville Family of Brothers

Article: "My Coming Out Story"

Article: "What I Believe about Sexual Ethics"

Article: "Vision for a Gay-Loving Church"

Article: "Offering Christian Family to Single People"

Article: "COVID-19 Targets Single Christians"

Article: "Better than Gay Marriage?"