Where have I experienced “freedom” in my sexuality?

I recently went on the Head to Heart Podcast with Jenny Marcum, and she opened with a question she asks many of her guests: What has Jesus freed you from?

If I’m honest, hearing the question brought back painful memories.

As a gay Christian committed to historic sex ethics, I’ve often been asked why God hasn’t yet freed me from my same-sex attractions.

Here's my answer:

I’ve been set free from the shame around my same-sex attractions and sexual addiction.

For a long time, I thought it was my fault that I was broken in these ways. I believed it was my job to find a way to make these feelings go away, and that if I failed, God wouldn't love me.

Thankfully, I have been set free from that belief.

Every day, I submit these broken parts of myself to Jesus, ask Him to help me obey His wisdom, and take practical steps advised by mentors.

I’ve also been set free from the idolatry of romance.

Everything around me tells me that I need romance and sex to be a happy and whole person. This message not only comes from secular spaces but also conservative cultural Christianity and Chritian spaces advocating for a revisionist sexual ethic.

Both extremes suggest that if I find the right person, I will no longer experience loneliness, and that a magical romantic connection is the best way to secure a stable family.

But those are lies. The Scriptures don’t support these claims, and neither do stats about relationships.

I now see that the idol of romance lies and overpromises, while the Scriptures and the practices of the early Church tell the truth. I don’t need romance or sex, but I do need lifelong, lived-in companionship.

I can find that in vocational singleness within the context of committed, intentional Christian community, just as much as anyone else.
And I’m deeply grateful God has help me find that…

Check out the rest of the podcast at https://open.spotify.com/episode/7JIS2NgSdoyLN55L4j15BF?si=2327a07bc61843ed