Does vocational singleness compete with Christian marriage?

Pastors will admit to me in private that they hesitate to teach and offer practical support for biblical singleness for the sake of the kingdom, because they’re afraid it’ll lead to even less Christian marriages.

I think they’re right to worry about Christian marriage trends, but I don’t think vocational singleness is the enemy.

A 2021 Pew Research Center report found that the share of American adults ages 25 to 54 who are married fell by almost 15 percentage points between 1990 and 2019, from 67 percent to 53 percent.

And the research found that that trend was mostly driven by people living without a spouse or partner.

In response to this, many pastors try to sell marriage as hard as they can and downplay vocational singleness.

G. K. Chesterton would warn them that that’s counterproductive.

He said, "Whenever monks come back, marriages will come back."

Chesterton lamented that too few Christians were committing to kingdom singleness, and too few Christians were faithfully walking out Christian marriage.

But he didn't see these vocations as competing in a zero-sum game. Instead, he suggested that robust teaching and practice of vocational singleness was the key to healthier Christian marriage.

So take Chesterton’s advice. Teach about both. Help Christians genuinely discern between both. Celebrate both. And provide practical support for both for a lifetime.

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