How do I handle same-sex crushes?

First, I try not to shame myself. In my experience, shaming myself for developing romantic feelings (and avoiding my crush out of shame) only leads to my attractions intensifying. The solution is healthy connection, not starvation and shame.

Second, I try not not to run away. God made each of us for healthy intimacy. Running away from my humanity doesn’t honor God–it just leaves me lonely and more vulnerable to temptation. Instead, lean into healthy friendship with the person you’re drawn to, with transparency and accountability.

Third, I try to be transparent. Sometimes, it’s better to discover there’s mutual interest sooner so you can recruit support/accountability from other friends instead of waiting to accidentally discover mutual interest in a time of moral vulnerability.

Fourth, I cultivate multiple deep friendships. Don’t lean away from the person you’re crushing on, but simultaneously do invest in healthy intimacy with other friends. Develop depth in more than just one friendship.

And finally, I try to be patient with myself. Crushes are normal. They happen. They come and go. I can remind myself that every other wave of romantic feelings eventually passed, and so too will the current crush.

God, please give me (and others) the courage to resist shame, lean into healthy friendship, seek support, and be patient with myself. Crushes will come and go, but Your desire for my goodness is constant.