How has my SSA been good (even if not God’s intention)?

As I understand it, God didn't intend for me to be romantically/sexually attracted to men. Yet over the past 20 years, the journey of bringing my sexuality before God and asking Him how He wanted to use my brokenness has been the greatest blessing of my life. Not because of my brokenness, but in spite of my brokenness.

Resisting my temptations has brought me face-to-face with how much the Church has made things worse (not better) for gay people, helping me empathize with queer people specifically and notice the pain of marginalized people more generally.

Resisting my temptations challenged me to connect with my feelings and discover the image of God within me. Resisting my temptations forced me to recognize that I was created for healthy connection with other humans and lean into intimacy with other men (instead of running away from it).

Resisting my temptations inspired me to help prevent the Church from failing the next generation of kids like me by starting Equip and training 28,000 Christians leaders (and counting) to better love queer people.

Resisting my temptations gave me the courage to admit that I needed lifelong, lived-in family and then start the Nashville Family of Brothers where myself and others could find the community we needed.

My life is like a Kintsugi Japanese golden repair work. Kintsugi artists reconnect broken pottery pieces using gold, producing something even more beautiful than the original. It wasn’t “good” that the original work was broken. But despite that brokenness, something even more beautiful can be created.

God has been a gentle and persistent Kintsugi artist, taking my broken sexuality and working with me to turn them into something even more beautiful. For that, I could not be more grateful.