The closet created my sex addiction.
I recently shared about my ongoing sexual addiction recovery. And I've posted in the past about the fact that same-sex attraction does not inherently lead to sexual addiction.
But it's true that gay people struggle with sexual addiction at higher rates than some other populations. Why?
The closet.
Even into the 2020s, surveys continue to find that the average LGBT+ person waits five years after noticing same-sex attractions or gender incongruence to share with a parent or a pastor.
Teens are still afraid that if/when they share their story, they'll be called an abomination, told they're dirty and disgusting, bullied, or kicked out of their house or church.
They spend five years making sense of big questions around identity and self-worth without the love and wisdom of parents, left alone in the dark with the lies of the Enemy and the broken world around us.
For many this leads to loneliness, shame, anxiety, depression, suicidality, and doubt about whether God loves us or even exists.
The closet is a breeding ground for addiction. It was for me.
We drowned in pain, and we were desperate for something to help us numb and escape.
We were afraid that if we got too close to friends, we'd develop a crush or accidentally out ourselves, so we settled for shallow friendship.
For many trapped in the closet, lust and pornography seemed like the only way to escape pain and connect with something. That perfect storm taught too many of us to repeatedly medicate our pain with something sexual.
Then like any addiction, as our pain continued, our addiction grew. Porn was no longer good enough. We needed a bigger dose of something more.
To be clear, I'm not trying to absolve myself or anyone else of responsibility for our decisions. Regardless of addiction, I'm responsible for my actions and for my recovery.
But consider this: how would you view a straight person who secretly experienced five years of repeated trauma in their teens, developed an addiction to pain-killers, and are still struggling with imperfect recovery into adulthood?
How are gay people like me much different?
Watch the full video at https://www.instagram.com/p/C87RfFpxlJP/
