Should I call myself gay?
No matter what words I use to refer to my sexuality, I'll be misunderstood by someone. Every possible term/phrase carries baggage with one group or another.
And admittedly, over the past five years since I publicly came out and used the word "gay" to describe my sexuality, the ways the LGBT+ community guards the word “gay” seems to have changed.
Some LGBT+ advocates have shifted from insisting that experiencing same-sex attraction is all that is needed to be part of the LGBT+ community (or some other non-straight or non-cis experience) to instead insisting that genuine membership in the LGBT+ community requires agreement with political views unrelated to sexuality/gender.
At the same time, God has called me to reach the next generation with my public discipleship. Studies show that Gen Z and Gen Alpha increasingly identify as LGBT/queer and increasingly want nothing to do with Jesus.
Christians are failing to embody the gospel in a way that truly shows Jesus. Wherever we can lower barriers and make it easier for the next generation to see Jesus, we should. That includes the terms/words we use to talk about sexuality.
If we exclusively use "same-sex attraction" with Gen Z/alpha, at best they confusingly respond, "Wait, what does that mean?" At worst, they will have been warned by LGBT+ Tiktok that only Christians who want to send them to pray-the-gay-away camp use SSA.
For those reasons, I feel called to meet Gen Z/alpha where they're at and use the words they use, to reach them with God's wisdom for their sexualities, and more importantly, with God's gift of salvation.
Without further clarification, if I use "gay" to describe myself, I will be misunderstood. So, I accept the responsibility to clarify. Each time I call myself "gay," I need to clarify that I'm committed to historic sexual ethics, that I'm merely using those words to refer to my same-sex attractions, and that I'm committed to vocational singleness.
So I'm going to keep calling myself "gay" for as long as that's the more effective word to use in the specific work I'm called to do.
