Watch my Lifetime Commitments to NFOB & Vocational Singleness

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Early reflections…

I'll be honest. During most of the actual ceremony, I was mentally stuck in one of the worst anxiety merry-go-round's I've experienced in years.

Two days before my commitments, one of the NFOB guys experienced a mental health break. The other guys in the house didn't know what to do, but I'd helped this brother through something similar a few years ago, so I need to carry a lot of the burden.

During the 48 hours leading up to the ceremony I was constantly on and off the phone talking to his doctor, making sure he picked up his meds, coordinating with his biofam, convincing him to take his meds, etc.

On the day-of, the brother was left at our house and then later got lost in the church. By the time I got to the 15 minute countdown to start the service, I was broken.

The ceremony was a swirl of worry, embarrassment, and discomfort.

Eventually I made it to the reception, and was able to enjoy the rest of the evening. Then over the coming days and weeks, I learned how normal my experience was and how blessed myself and others were regardless of my emotional experience.

As I shared honestly with married friends about my distractedness, nearly a dozen couples independently reassured me, "Well...to be honest...we had a hard time being present at our wedding. That seems pretty common. Don't worry!"

We planned the liturgy and sermon for my commitments to be particularly accessible to (and even compelling for) non-Christians, so I was deeply comforted when each of the people I'd invited who had the least context for singleness-for-Jesus each shared with me, "Pieter, it all makes sense now..." and shared how they finally saw the beauty of my choice to commit my life to God and a family of celibate brothers.

Moreover, I was reassured that regardless of my emotions, God was faithful during my commitments. He provided me with the full gift of singleness. He covenanted me with the Nashville Family of Brothers.

In the words of the late Fr. Thomas McKenzie, "It doesn't really matter what you feel. God is either doing it, or He isn't!"

And I was reassured that my lifetime commitments were only the beginning of a story that is still being written. Decades from now, my distractedness during the ceremony will be forgotten.

Instead, that day will be remembered as the start of whatever the Nashville Family of Brothers is about to build together.

I hope it's a beautiful story...

Ohh, and I almost forgot. None of this would have been possible without so many amazing people who pitched in! Thanks to...

• Chloe, Callie, and Tyler for preserving my lifetime commitments forever (photography/video)

• Cody Arashiro for preventing 100s of other day-ruining-possibilities (day-of event planner)

• Kristen Tallau for fulfilling my mint chocolate cake dreams (baked the cakes)

• Jonny Barahona and Jonathan Hoyt for delicious vocals, piano, and organ

• Bishop Todd Hunter, Bishop Steven Tighe, Father Andrew Defusco, JP Conway, and Nathan Hale for officiating

• Luminous Anglican Parish for letting us use their beautiful space

• And last but not least, my parents, Henere and Sherry, for hosting a tear-full rehearsal dinner and supporting me over the past few years better than I ever could have expected

See the website for my lifetime commitments here.

To read more about my journey to lifetime commitments, check out the articles below: