You may have seen this demotivational poster of St. Sebastian in the background of one of my recent videos. I read about something similar in Eve Tushnet’s book “Tenderness” and I couldn’t resist designing and printing a version for myself. The sarcasm and double meaning are deeply satisfying.

I recently posted a video sharing why I think God's wisdom for our sexualities is worth following (Proverbs 4:6-7, Matthew 7:24-25). I made a passing comment at the start of the video that I don't believe gay sex is a salvation issue. Some were surprised, so I wanted to explain.

You guys know that I don’t think our beliefs or behavior around sexual ethics is a salvation issue. There are people I disagree with about gay marriage, gay romance, and gay sex who will be in heaven. I recently shared about that at a church. While the head pastor and I were later debriefing the training, he asked me an honest question: if it’s not a salvation issue, why not just be with a man? Why not have your cake and eat it too?

A blurb recently appeared on the Yale University Press website for a new book by Dr. Richard Hays and his son (out Sept 2024) in which it seems he'll reveal his change to a revisionist sexual ethic. Like me, many Christians over the past few decades have read Hays's 1996 "Moral Vision of the New Testament" and referred back to his earlier work to justify our commitment to historic sexual ethics. When theological heavyweights like Hays change their minds, it's disorienting for many. For me, it led to a now all-too-familiar cycle of fear, disappointment, betrayal, and hop

Some Christians are theologically convinced that gay romance/sex are sins, but deep down they still feel like people need romance to be happy. Deep down, it doesn’t feel fair that celibacy often seems like the only option God offers to gay people. Some earnestly wonder whether God is asking gay people to sacrifice more than other Christians and whether that’s good.

When I play back the tape on a lot of conversations from the past decade that ended in others feeling unheard, disrespected, and misunderstood, many of them would have gone better if I had just chosen to turn the cheek. But turning the cheek is hard for me. Maybe it's difficult for you, too. To be clear, when Jesus talks about turning the cheek, he's talking about responding to insult. He's referring to times when someone offends you or falsely accuses you. But I'm probably not a victim as often as I think I am.

Why would an lgbt+ person every want to attend my church? particularly if they're not a Christian and disagree with our sexual ethics? Honestly, that's a pretty universal question: Why would anyone want to be a part of a church that calls him or her to inconvenient stewardship of any kind?

How do you share the gospel with an LGBT+ person? In the same way you share the gospel with anyone else! LGBT+ people don’t need a different type of gospel or a different type of Jesus. Sometimes people respond, "Well, I guess I honestly don't know how to share the gospel with anyone unless the Holy Spirit has kind of teed me up for an easy home-run." There's no best way to share the gospel, but here's what I've noticed…

Checkout this chapel offered at Asbury Theological Seminary exploring God's true, good, and beautiful for gay people. Many Christians are theologically convinced of historic sexual ethics, but what we believe to be true doesn’t seem to be leading to good and beautiful in the lives of the LGBT+ people we know. As Christians, we have an inherent sense that what’s true should also be good and beautiful. So how do we make that a reality for the LGBT+ people we love?

Eventually, every conversation about gender ethics and God’s wisdom for trans people seems to get to the point where someone claims, “Well, it’s transition or suicide.” And often, the conversation stops. This matters, because we know 41% of trans people attempt suicide, as compared to 1.6% of the general population. Stats like that demand attention. They can’t be ignored. But should is “transition or suicide” mantra true? Has transition been scientifically proven to reduce suicide risk? Long story short: No. Available research is inconclusive about whether hormonal or surgical transition effectively reduce suicide risk.

Some Christians get mad at me when I respect people’s pronoun and name preferences. Here’s the deal, just because I honor someone’s request doesn’t mean I’m theologically affirming their decisions. It just means that I don’t want terminology to be a barrier to getting to know a trans person.

Classic personality tests like the Big Five OCEAN assessment identify a person’s level of agreeableness. There are both constructive and destructive ways disagreeable people can show up in their families and workplaces. For better and for worse, I'm a disagreeable person.

Paxton Barkdull recently had me on the Theology With Friends Podcast to talk about vocational singleness and LGBT+ topics, including how I arrived at a historic sexual ethic. It’s been a journey!

I recently had the opportunity to dialogue with Reginaldo dos Santos Gomes, who interviewed me for Vivendo em Comunhão. Reginaldo asked me to share how I came to terms with my sexuality and settled into vocational singleness. Many people (including Reginaldo) are surprised to hear that I dated women while being transparent about my sexuality, enjoyed romantic intimacy with them, and preferred to get married.

Pastors will admit to me in private that they hesitate to teach and offer practical support for biblical singleness for the sake of the kingdom, because they’re afraid it’ll lead to even less Christian marriages. I think they’re right to worry about Christian marriage trends, but I don’t think vocational singleness is the enemy.

I recently went on the Political Animals Podcast with Jonathan Cole to talk politics, faith, and sexuality. At one point, we explored why the double standard of sexual stewardship costs Christians' credibility inside and outside of churches. Many churches lead straight Christians to assume that they will get married, teach that we need romantic companionship to be happy, and ignore the Bible’s teachings about vocational singleness and divorce.

We’re lonelier than ever. And the way we’re doing friendship isn’t solving the problem. A recent Harvard study showed that 36% of Americans experience extreme loneliness. According to the study, the Pandemic revealed that our social fabric is full of holes. People are falling through the cracks.

I recently went on the Church Politics Podcast with Justin Giboney of the AND Campaign to talk about faith and sexuality, including the recent controversy around Pastor Alistair Begg and whether Christians should attend gay weddings.

How can Christians compassionately care for trans Christians? First, adopt a general posture of empathy and compassion. God made trans people in His image, and we must treat trans people with the dignity and respect every Imago Dei deserves…

I recently went on the Canadian Church Leaders Podcast to talk with Chris Price about how churches can better offer Christ's love and wisdom to LGBT+ people. At one point, we explored why historic sexual ethics don't seem to be convincing for many modern Christians. I've said before that I'm confident that historic sexual ethics stand up to intellectual probing and questioning. By my assessment, the evidence for revisionist sexual ethics pales in comparison. But arguments about sexual ethics are often unconvincing and unhelpful. Why?