Some Christians get mad at me when I respect people’s pronoun and name preferences. Here’s the deal, just because I honor someone’s request doesn’t mean I’m theologically affirming their decisions. It just means that I don’t want terminology to be a barrier to getting to know a trans person.

I recently had the opportunity to dialogue with Reginaldo dos Santos Gomes, who interviewed me for Vivendo em Comunhão. Reginaldo asked me to share how I came to terms with my sexuality and settled into vocational singleness. Many people (including Reginaldo) are surprised to hear that I dated women while being transparent about my sexuality, enjoyed romantic intimacy with them, and preferred to get married.

I recently went on the Political Animals Podcast with Jonathan Cole to talk politics, faith, and sexuality. At one point, we explored why the double standard of sexual stewardship costs Christians' credibility inside and outside of churches. Many churches lead straight Christians to assume that they will get married, teach that we need romantic companionship to be happy, and ignore the Bible’s teachings about vocational singleness and divorce.

I recently went on the Church Politics Podcast with Justin Giboney of the AND Campaign to talk about faith and sexuality, including the recent controversy around Pastor Alistair Begg and whether Christians should attend gay weddings.

How can Christians compassionately care for trans Christians? First, adopt a general posture of empathy and compassion. God made trans people in His image, and we must treat trans people with the dignity and respect every Imago Dei deserves…

I recently went on the Canadian Church Leaders Podcast to talk with Chris Price about how churches can better offer Christ's love and wisdom to LGBT+ people. At one point, we explored why historic sexual ethics don't seem to be convincing for many modern Christians. I've said before that I'm confident that historic sexual ethics stand up to intellectual probing and questioning. By my assessment, the evidence for revisionist sexual ethics pales in comparison. But arguments about sexual ethics are often unconvincing and unhelpful. Why?

I've had a couple of people ask me how straight affirming allies make me feel. To be honest, they make my life harder and I think they’re misguided…

God made each of us for intimacy. But romance idolatry inside and outside of the Church often tricks us into believing that our loneliness is exclusively a cry for romance/sex. Yet when I meet with counseling clients who are lonely, I often ask, “If you had a spouse, what would that get you? How specifically would that person show up in your life and push back loneliness?”

No matter what words I use to refer to my sexuality, I'll be misunderstood by someone. Every possible term/phrase carries baggage with one group or another.

Well, it depends on what you mean by "healing."
For many gay/SSA people who directly or indirectly interacted with the pray-the-gay-away movement of the late 1900s, pastors and therapists promised that God would completely eliminate their same-sex attractions and replace them with robust general opposite-sex attractions if gay/SSA people prayed hard enough or went to enough counseling.

First, I try not to shame myself. In my experience, shaming myself for developing romantic feelings (and avoiding my crush out of shame) only leads to my attractions intensifying. The solution is healthy connection, not starvation and shame.

As I understand it, God didn't intend for me to be romantically/sexually attracted to men. Yet over the past 20 years, the journey of bringing my sexuality before God and asking Him how He wanted to use my brokenness has been the greatest blessing of my life. Not because of my brokenness, but in spite of my brokenness.

Christians need to be able to make a winsome, positive case for a historic sexual ethic. But sometimes you get an email or someone knocks on your door, and the conversation goes something like, ”Yeah, I understand your arguments for a historic sexual ethic, but what about…” and they go on to list one of the convincing arguments for a revisionist sexual ethic. How can you respond?

I went on the Good Christian Co. Podcast with Robby Ortiz and Joshua Delp to talk about faith and sexuality. At one point, they asked me how to navigate conversations where people disagree about the morality of gay marriage and gay sex. My solution: Don't talk about sexual ethics.

Over the past year, Equip has partnered with Jesse White, a seminary-trained Christian leader who has been faithfully stewarding his own gender incongruence. Together, we’ve developed a brand-new resource to help pastors and Christians navigate this conversation in their communities: Equip's new Gender Incongruence Course is a 4-session resource that (1) helps Christian leaders and parents think empathetically and theologically about gender incongruence and (2) equips Christian leaders and parents to offer God’s love and wisdom to trans* people.

Unfortunately, many straight Christians assume that every gay person is a sex addict. When gay Christians ask pastors for help, they're automatically referred to a sex addiction support group.

At a recent campus minister training, I urged them not to bring up gay sex ethics with students until they first covered God's wisdom for everyone's sexual stewardship (and addressed ways straight Christians often fall short). Why? Consistency and effectiveness.

For nearly a decade I was burdened by crushing shame, in large part because I was told gay sexual sin was worse than straight sexual sin. Sometimes explicitly (but often indirectly) I was led to believe that whatever sins I committed, they were even more despicable in God's eyes because I was gay.

Did God make me gay? I went on the Things You Don't Hear In Church Podcast to talk about faith and sexuality. One of the questions we explored was whether God intends for people to experience same-sex attraction.

As the Respect for Marriage Act is set to pass, some Christians will mourn the further entrenching of secular values. Others will cheer the loosening grip of the Religious Right. To those of us holding tightly to God’s Word and praying that godly marriage would bless our country, can I ask an honest question:
Do we have respect for Christian marriage?